So I was awoken from my afternoon nap by a phone call from Mark, a guy who lives near my future house. He was parked in the street outside my driveway, getting scraps of wood from the trash pile when the car ran off the road at 50+mph, hitting the port-a-jon head on. The car then went off the bank near the front of the lot, flipped over, and hit the large catalpa tree five feet from my house.
When I got there, they were pulling the car out of the trees with a winch. Miraculously, all three of the teenagers in the car as well as Mark walked away unscratched. Mark said they stashed some illegal substances behind the house, but my search for them was fruitless.
Just as miraculously, my framers weren't working, and the only damage was to the port-a-jon, permit box, and power pole.